Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
