you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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