I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
