there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You pole danced in your parka.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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