She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
