BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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