I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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