so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
