She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
