sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
