I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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