I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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