THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
