I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
