If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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