I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
