Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
