how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
