Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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