Your dad touched me again.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
