fuck your aforementioned shoe
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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