I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
