You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
