you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
