I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
