i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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