He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
