Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yo dont text me then not text me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
