So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
