Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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