Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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