How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
