If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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