his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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