I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
