i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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