So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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