We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
