Small penises have feelings too.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
