I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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