butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
