You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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