took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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