Im at strip club and am horny
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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