that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
