wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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