you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
