I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
