I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
