she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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