Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
