Got a toothbrush?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
one might say we're banned from that church
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
