i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
